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Dream From Course Workbook

Workbook Category:

Test Yourself

Dreamer:

Female

Title:

Wrong Road

Dreamer's Comment:

I had the following dream just last week - if you could help on the interpretation I would be grateful.  I seem to have a very good dream life - and find them of great value.
 
Note I have done this dream out step by step to show you how a complex dream can be broken up and interpreted easily. Let's look at the dream. As you read it try to figure out what the subject matter is. Don't try  to interpret anything else for now. I have underlined the parts of the dream which will help you determine the subject matter. Here's the dream.
 

I Am

Wrong Road

I Need


I was getting my family and I ready for my husband's brother-in-laws funeral, rushing around etc.. When we arrived I found I had forgotten to put the suitcases in the car.  I didn't worry too much about everyone else as other friends/relatives had clothes the family could borrow.  But I am overweight and didn't know where I was going to find any clothes to wear.

And it didn't seem like a funeral when we got there. (He lives in Alaska - is elderly - but when I last knew him he was very unpredictable - I never trusted him as I didn't know what he would do next).

Now I'm in my husband's and my 1963 Pontiac Tempest sports coupe (his pride and joy) and going down a highway and there is a stop light (red) coming up.  I try to stop the car but it keeps going right through the light - I can literally feel the wheel turning to the right all by itself.

I find myself on a road/trail along side a smooth 2-lane interstate.  This side road is rough, bumpy, full of rocks.  I come to a spot in the road where there is clear water running out of a pipe by the side of the road and the water runs over the road and down in the ditch to my left.  The ditch is full of snow and water so I know I can't go down there to get to the other good road.  I think to myself that I have to get on that road to the left of me as I can't go any further where I'm at.

  
Note Did you get it? Let's tease it out. The dream is about a male's funeral. As in any dream about death this does not indicate death of a person but death of an aspect of the dreamer. Literally the dream is saying that an aspect of the dreamer has to die so that another aspect can find expression. So what aspect is it? We can see that there is a double male association with the funeral (husband's brother-in-law). Later we also see that the dreamer's car (or life) tends towards the right but the dreamer is aware that she needs to now go to the left. Quite often choices in a dream, in this case between right and left, are another effective way of getting at the subject matter. In this case the right indicates the male side and the left indicates the female side. We all have both male and female sides. Don't confuse this with man and woman sides! This dream is placing the dreamer on the right (right side road) and showing her she needs to get to the road on the left.

So to put it all together the subject matter of the dream is death of the dreamer's male approach to life to allow her female side more expression. In the dreamer's own words she is telling us she is on the wrong road and needs to change because she can't go any further where she's at.

Now let's continue. In what way is the dreamer's approach to life 'too male'? Using the formula explained in How to Interpret a Dream it becomes easy to find out. Here is the dream again with negative words and phrases marked and placed under the I Am column and positive ones marked and placed under the I Need column. Remember, to interpret the phrases you need to apply them to the subject matter. We'll take the first half of the dream to begin with.

 

I Am

Wrong Road

I Need


2rushing

6friends/relatives had clothes the family could borrow

7Alaska

8elderly

9I never trusted

I was 1getting my family and I ready for my husband's brother-in-laws funeral, 2rushing around etc.. When 3we arrived I found I had 4forgotten to put the suitcases in the car.  5I didn't worry too much about everyone else as other 6friends/relatives had clothes the family could borrow.  But I am overweight and didn't know where I was going to 4find any clothes to wear.

And it didn't seem like a funeral when we got there. (He lives in 7Alaska - is 8elderly - but when I last knew him he was very unpredictable - 9I never trusted him as I didn't know what he would do next).

1to get ready

3to arrive

7forget the suitcases

5I didn't worry

4to not have clothes to wear

 
Note Let's take the I Am column first. I will add comment as necessary to make the meaning clearer.
2 When it comes to my approach to life I am rushing. When we rush we do not allowing ourselves time to stop and listen to our intuition / feelings (female side).
6 Clothes represent attitudes. So here the dream is saying that I borrowed or adopted attitudes from my family. I know that the dreamer is saying that she cannot borrowing the clothes but when you remember Rule 1, Everything in the Dream is me, it becomes clear.
8 Alaska as a location, North, indicates the head (male side) as compared to a location south which would indicate the heart (female side). Something which also backs this up is that Alaska is a cold place. Cold in a dream indicates a lack of emotions or unfeeling (again this indicates a repressed female side).
9 This indicates that the approach to life is old-fashioned.
10 Put bluntly this is saying 'When it comes to my approach to life I am not trusting'. Again the ability to trust comes from our female side. Develop the female side and the trusting ability will mature.

Now let's look at the I Need column. We would expect this column to tell the dreamer how to encourage female qualities.

1 When it comes to my approach to life I need to get ready / prepare myself for changing the road I am on.
3 I need 'to arrive' at the right approach to life. The way to do this is explained in the same sentence of the dream and described in 4 below.
4 When it comes to my approach to life I need to 'forget the suitcases' or drop the baggage I am carrying around. In this case clothes are contained in the baggage. This means that the dreamer is being asked to eliminate negative attitudes she has picked up from her family. Because the person dying in the dream is male it would point towards negative traits picked up from dad.
5 When it comes to my approach to life I need to not worry. Again this points towards developing trust. Trust that life will present everything that's needed - don't worry about life.
7 to not have clothes to wear - ie. don't adopt the attitudes of your family.

Now let's look at the rest of the dream. We would expect it to continue in the same vein.

 

I Am

Wrong Road

I Need


11963

2stop light (red)

2try to stop

4turning to the right

6rough, bumpy, full of rocks

8by the side of the road

10snow

11I can't go any further where I'm at

Now I'm in my husband's and my 11963 Pontiac Tempest sports coupe (his pride and joy) and going down a highway and there is a 2stop light (red) coming up.  2I try to stop the car but it keeps going right through the light - 3I can literally feel the wheel 4turning to the right all by itself.

I find myself on a road/trail along side a 5smooth 2-lane interstate.  This side road is 6rough, bumpy, full of rocks.  I come to a spot in the road where there is 7clear water running out of a pipe 8by the side of the road and 7the water runs over the road and down in the 9ditch to my left.  The ditch is full of 10snow and water so I know 11I can't 12go down there to get to the other good road.  I think to myself that 12I have to get on that road to the left of me as 11I can't go any further where I'm at.

3I can feel

5smooth 2-lane interstate

7clear water

7the water runs over the road

9ditch to my left

12go down there to get to the other road

12I have to get on that road to the left

 
Note Again we'll start with the I Am column.
1 In this part we are given a date '1963'. Quite often dates are used in dreams to tell the dreamer the time in her life that she needs to look at. So look to 1963, most likely childhood. What happened in 1963. Is there a specific event which stands out?
2 When I comes to my approach to life I am being stopped (by the red light). Red in this case stands for anger (refer to The Meaning of Colors in Dreams Colors in Dreams). So the interpretation is that my own anger is stopping me from progressing in life. Remember that dreams exaggerate so we are not talking about a person who is constantly angry but rather somebody that has picked up on her father's anger and this trait, when displayed, holds her back. Anger as an emotion is useful for setting boundaries but is sometimes indulged in to keep people at a distance emotionally, so that they can't get close enough to hurt the individual. Again, link it to childhood. What happened in childhood in 1963 that caused enough pain for a child to say 'I won't let anybody else get close enough to hurt my feelings again'.
4 When it comes to my approach to life I turn to the right - or put another way - I use a male approach to life. Again don't confuse this with a man's approach. Contrast this with point 3 in the I Need column where the dreamer is being shown her potential to 'feel'. This is the female approach to life. I will come back to this in detail in the summary at the end.
6 This is how the dreamer sees life. It is rough, bumpy and full or rocks (or difficulties). To be more accurate we link cause and effect. The dream is saying that because of my male approach to life I am finding life rough, bumpy and full or rocks.
8 When it comes to life I find myself at the side of the road. Although I can see the main highway I don't find myself able to get there.
10 I am snow. Snow is white and frozen. So the interpretation here is that I try to control (white color) my emotions (frozen). This is part of the male approach. Showing feelings is shunned.
11 I can't go any further where I'm at. This does not need any interpretation.

Now let's look at the I Need column.

3 When it comes to my approach to life I can feel or I need to include my feelings. Listening to your feelings/heart allows your female side expression.
5 When it comes to my approach to life I have the potential to be a smooth 2 lane interstate. An interstate is a main arterial road and as a symbol indicates the heart (refer to The Circulatory System). So again the dream is saying to give your heart expression in your life. Notice also that it is a 2 lane interstate. Make room for give and take (2 lanes allows a flow in both directions). To give all the time is as damaging as to take all the time. Not surprisingly if you refer The Meaning of Numbers in Dreams you'll find that 2 is a female number indicating balance, sharing, give and take, two way communication.
7 Clear water is the opposite to snow. This water is flowing, indicating the flow of life. It is clear, indicating potential for life to be clear. It is flowing across the road. The road is your path in life so you should include spirituality in your approach to life. Actually, when shown in this case it indicates that you will have little choice in the matter. A spiritual course is mapped out for you and will cross your path in life. With it going across the road perpendicular to your original direction it indicates a crossroads you will come to where you will have some difficulty but will choose a spiritual approach as the best direction in life from there. Trust me, this is a good thing.
9 I need to ditch to my left. This is a request to 'ditch' your current approach / direction in life and go with a female approach. You are being told "don't think about the outcome - just drop things where they are and go with it".
12 I have to get to the road on the left. This is quite clear and in the dreamers own words.


Summary

Now that we have the individual meaning of each of the elements in the dream let's summaries the full meaning of the dream. This is how you would do it in a counseling session when how you arrived at the meaning of the dream is not important.

This dream is addressing your approach to life and is telling you that you have a choice in how life flows from here. Each of us has both male and female sides, often referred to as Yin and Yang. To create harmony around us we need to balance this energy within ourselves. In your case the balance tends to the male side. This is not surprising considering that we live in a very male oriented society, with male institutions and our school system placing most emphasis on intellect. Subjects which do involve the heart, such as poetry and art, are often torn apart in an academic way which again trains us to use the head even for these matters of the heart.

The choice you are faced with now is whether to continue with a male approach or to move more towards a female approach and so get closer to balance between male and female sides. The dream explains the negative male traits and resulting view of life which ensues. Life is bumpy, and rough with obstacles (rocks) to overcome and carries with it a feeling that you can't go any further. This is caused by rushing at things, worrying, not trusting and not listening to your own heart. These are traits your father had and you copied them to a greater or lesser degree. If you could let go of the negative influence your father had on you while keeping the positive influences you will find yourself on a completely different and smooth path in life. You need to open up your heart and become more feeling and forgiving. Life is a spiritual journey. You probably have not witnessed this in your reality but your dream says that a spiritual path lies ahead for you. Right now the focus should be on changing yourself by letting go of the past, particularly on your father's side. A therapy such as cutting the ties with dad would be appropriate. You will have to cross some rough terrain to do this but if you stick with it the outcome is worth it.

On a more abstract level the dream is showing you have a choice between Karma (male) and Dharma (female). Each religion shows this in its teachings. In the Christian faith Karma is the style of the old testament - 'an eye for an eye' mentality. Then along comes Jesus and he says you no longer need to live like this. Forgive your enemy! Move onto a Dharmic path. Dharma is termed grace by the church. In spiritual circles it is often called the Christ Consciousness. Labels don't matter because it is about how you choose to live your life. Dharma is more difficult to reach than karma because it requires eliminating the negative influences (baggage) we pick up in the course of our lives. It often requires a fundamental shift in our philosophy of life as we allow compassion enter our hearts where once we had our hearts closed off.

 

Dreamer's Comment on the Interpretation

Thank you for the dream interpretation!  I'm studying it thoroughly - it seems to fit for the most part.